3 Mistakes that we make when things do not go our way

How difficult it is to be like a monk, ever-smiling and unfazed by all situations!

We all have that monk within us who would love to be carefree and flow with Nature. Yet, encumbered by the list of tasks we must accomplish in a day, our minds tend to forget this need to be carefree.

Workload, career goals, family, relationships, housing, health … and the list of priorities goes on and on.

The monk within gets smaller and smaller in size and importance as the focus manoeuvres to the events outside, rather than the events within.

This is when the propensity of making mistakes goes up. The likelihood of things not going someone’s way may be high. More importantly, the likelihood of perpetuating an error by making the three big mistakes becomes higher.

Indeed, what are the three big mistakes people make when things do not go their way?

1. They Blame

The deep, ancient protocols of Yoga of Immortals are all about emerging from the body consciousness and answering that question: “Who am I?”

However, the body consciousness is prominent for most people (body consciousness implies identification of the self as the body). As a result, we tend to disassociate ourselves (this body) from everyone and everything else.

Blaming is the direct consequence of this process, in which we tend to judge the cause of an issue onto another individual.

Does this solve the issue? Not at all.

Blaming is the process of transferring ownership of a problem and blatantly refusing to learn from it. By blaming, we also are expressing that someone else’s actions caused the outcome. We do not take any responsibility for our role in it.

We certainly do not need to accept others’ issues and mistakes as our own.

However, if something does not go our way, the need of the hour is to introspect and focus on our learning and the solution.

2. They Reason

The mindless approach to dealing with life lies in performing a detailed analysis aimed at proving someone or some phenomenon as the root cause of the mistake. People often spend hours analyzing and brainstorming the reason or reasons things did not go their way.

Understanding the root cause is a good habit, provided the bulk of the person’s time and energy gets spent on mitigating the issue. What can we do to get things right? What can be fixed?

Yoga of Immortals helps in witnessing the entire situation and re-evaluating the purpose before making decisions. A simple set of twenty deep breaths can help to ease the nerves and bring awareness to the situation.

It is important to understand that every individual has grown through a different set of experiences and hence may respond differently to similar situations. Successful people are able to quickly read and absorb the learnings out of every mistake. They are able to absorb the nectar of growth hidden in every incident, be it a success or a failure. A growth mindset helps one understand what should or should not be done.

3. They Panic

Panic is the body’s reaction to unanticipated circumstances. Panicking rarely helps. This adrenaline-triggered response can further exacerbate the circumstances, causing more harm than intended.

For example, when I had just learned to drive, I set out on a long drive with my friends one day. My confidence was oozing until I made a wrong turn. I could have corrected myself. However, I panicked and started thinking about all the consequences of making that wrong turn. This resulted in another mistake in which the car went up over the curb. Fortunately, everything was safe, sound and unharmed.

Yet, I realized how one mistake led to the other. I also realized how Murphy’s law is never true until we follow the 3 mistaken steps: blame, reason and panic. In my case, I surely could have responded better by being mindful and focusing more intently on the next turn.

Panicking causes the brain to get stuck in the incident and its cause. Mindfulness is all about letting go and moving on. Being able to look at every situation with a fresh perspective is key. Being able to witness and act on every new situation is ideal.

A lot of times, it is disturbing to see senior executives panic at simple suggestions and decisions made by their team members. The easiest way for team leaders to create a toxic environment for their team is to panic, lose their cool and exhibit lack of trust. Leaders should objectively figure out a solution to any problem together with the team.

In summary, blaming, reasoning and panicking are the three ways to perpetuate mistakes. Blaming indicates a clear lack of not taking ownership or responsibility for the situation or issue. Over reasoning signals the person’s lack of focus on finding a solution. Panicking stems from attachment to the issue or its consequence.

Yoga of Immortals helps you to remain detached, chalk out the solution and accomplish success by taking ownership of the problem.

Cheers to learning, growing and manifesting all the best that lies in store for you!

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